When do you let some one just mess up...and when do just step in and put a food down? I have been in several situations with my family where they where making decisions that I could see would be very problematic in the long run for all involved. I said say what I saw, but did try not force my approach...and now I am the cleaner upper of the messes. As I write it seems obvious....let them deal the consequences...but it means leaving a  94 year old mom on her own....and a cancer patient husband to his own (after treatment of course). I saw these problems coming and suggested we work to advert them...and they did not..Now I am care taking them and without any money for any of us ...so it is tremendously difficult. Compassion and martyrdom dome come to mind.